2012 ended with the internet eating my old website. It wasn’t a tragic loss, it was terribly old and out of date, passwords long forgotten and basically held together with lazy apathy and duct tape. But now! Now I have this shiny new place to store my work and musings. And I’ve not the faintest clue how to get around yet. I’m still bustling around trying to decorate and make sure all the rooms feel homey and welcoming, when in fact it doesn’t matter if company is coming over – I have to paint! I’ll get lost in the beautifying process if I let myself, as my focus tends to run razor sharp – but only on ONE thing at a time. So, don’t mind the dust bunnies or that the paintings are hung crooked for a bit, it will get done eventually. At least, that’s what I tell myself to stop the urgent need to clean, as if I could make it perfect . All I know is that I hand my first solo show in Syracuse in less than 2 weeks, and I’m, uh, 4 paintings short of being ready. But I have hope I can finish them all. Without crushing deadlines, how else would I force myself to get so much done so fast? Especially in January, when the overall ruling adage is “I feel sleepy.”
I like to challenge myself. It’s ridiculously unrealistic and head-crushing with rabid fear, this place I’m painting in now. Just the way I love it! It’s how I work. Given all the time in the world, I’d rarely finish anything, as I’ll take all the time in the world. But give me a deadline and a lofty goal and the creativity flows with the adrenaline. At least, with painting. In thinking, if I had to sculpt like that – it would be a nightmare.